Stages
by ilovetvalot
Summary: The stages of grief seen thru the team members eyes as Emily watches. Post-ep "Lauren"


_**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been patiently waiting for our stories to be posted. We appreciate your support and apologize for any delays. Real life, however, has taken precedence! We always want to be able to provide you with quality stories and chapters, so our postings may be a bit sporadic over the next month.**_

_**Please...check out our new forum topic: A Fanfic Glossary! We want to know if you guys find it helpful and our topic thread "Our Stance on the 2010 Criminal Minds Fanfic Awards". We have also opened a Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior thread where you may discuss the show (respectfully, of course). We also have a forum announcing our fellow author's (Kathi1C) new IheartCriminalMinds blog. You can ask her questions and get directions on going to her site. We also have SEVERAL NEW THREADS on our forum. Please check them out. We'll also have our "April Fools" challenge up shortly! AND...we've opened a thread to discuss the episode "Lauren" on the forum. Please stop by and check us out.**_

_**As always, we do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters that we so enjoy writing. If we did own them, we would have never had JJ leave!**_

_**And please, swing by my profile page and take my latest poll. I'm thinking of revisiting some of my older stories and would like your opinion. You guys mean the world to us!**_

_**This is my first post - ep for "Lauren". I hope you like it. Several more are coming! **_

_**Let me know what ya'll think!**_

* * *

**Stages**

She knew it was morbid, but try as she might, she couldn't stay away. She needed this last glimpse of her old life. Hidden behind the copse of elms, she knew she was undetectable. She could watch in peace without fear of having her carefully prepared cover blown.

It was a beautiful day. Sunshine with a warm breeze. It was a pity her friends were spending such a gorgeous afternoon in this way.

Completely unavoidable, of course, but a shame, nonetheless.

Watching their beloved faces, her heart twisted. All six stages of grief were reflected in her friends' eyes.

Knowing she was responsible for so much pain and anguish… it broke what remained of her heart.

**XXX**

_**Denial**_

This wasn't happening, Penelope Garcia told herself silently, cold tears rolling down her reddened cheeks. They couldn't be standing here in this cemetery again, could they? Hadn't they just said goodbye to Haley?

It wasn't fair. And she was going to lodge a complaint with whatever goddess was listening today.

It was a dream…and soon, she'd wake up. She was sure of it. She'd be snuggled in her comfy bed in her most comfortable jammies. She'd wake up and call Emily. She'd hear that sweet voice cursing her for waking her up way to early on one of their free days.

Blinking back more tears as Hotch gestured her toward the casket, she placed the rose gently against the mahogany surface.

When the hell would she wake up?

**XXX**

_**Anger**_

Damn, Prentiss, Derek Morgan thought angrily. One word from her…one warning…and none of them would be standing here.

He couldn't mourn her passing…celebrate her life…he was too damn busy being royally pissed at her absolute stupidity.

If only she'd placed one iota of trust in him! If she'd only given them one ounce of faith, she'd still be here. She still be where she should be instead of in that damned coffin.

But instead, she'd decided being a lone gunman in her own Wild West show was the better option. And she'd been bested by a fucking psycho.

He could hate her for that. If only he hadn't loved her so damned much.

**XXX**

_**Bargaining**_

Spencer Reid swallowed as he stared at the covered coffin.

One more chance, he begged the fates, whoever and wherever they may be. Just give me one more chance to go back and redo things.

He would stop her before she ever left. He'd browbeat the truth from her, if necessary. He'd change it all.

All he needed was that one opportunity to fix things. A single chance to convince her that the team was her best option for resolving what seemed like a hopeless situation.

He give anything…do anything…for that one moment.

"Please?" he whispered huskily to himself.

**XXX**

_**Depression**_

David Rossi blinked back tears as he listened to the priest's heavy words, not really hearing a word that was said. He'd stopped hearing most everything after JJ's announcement that Prentiss had never made it off the table.

God, he thought heavily, they'd lost another. How many agents had he stood in just this position and mourned? How many caskets had he carried to that final resting place? How many more times could he do it? How many more times before it was him inside the wood enclosure?

Perhaps, he was too old for this. Too jaded. Too goddamned tired.

It seemed pointless now…this constant pursuit of evil. They were losing. And Emily's death only proved that to him.

His heart sank as he watched his colleagues slowly move forward, placing roses on the coffin, their thorns slipping against the polished wood.

Moving forward to place his own flower, he touched the wood gently. "It won't be long now, my friend."

**XXX**

_**Acceptance**_

Looking around, Ashley struggled for composure in the bright sunlight.

She, better than most, understood that death was a part of life. Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, we were all born to die.

It hurt, and there was pain. But, in the end, she could also see that Emily Prentiss had given her life for all of them. To keep them safe, she'd made the ultimate sacrifice.

How could she not be grateful for that gift?

All she could do now was to honor the fallen woman's memory and try to help her friend's piece their fragmented lives back together again.

Reaching for Rossi's hand as she returned from depositing her own rose on the grave, she squeezed gently.

Emily was gone. But they were all still here. One day, they'd realize it, too.

**XXX**

_**Hope**_

He alone of his team knew the truth.

Releasing the single bloom from his fingers, he straightened, standing stoically beside the empty coffin, careful to not release his tightly held secret. She was out there somewhere. Scanning the horizon, he could swear he almost smelled her perfume.

Most important, she was safe…for the moment.

And in time, he'd bring her home. The others would be angry. Some would never forgive their choice. But as he met Jennifer Jareau's knowing gaze across the vacant mahogany shell, he knew they were doing the right thing.

The less that knew the truth, the safer Emily would be.

One day, she would return. And until then, he'd clutch hope with both hands.

**XXX**

Releasing the breath she'd been holding, Emily bit her lip as the service ended. Each face was still etched in grief. Poor Garcia looked so lost, and she was glad to see Morgan wrap a strong arm around the crying woman, guiding her toward the waiting cars.

Reid followed a few stepped behind, his shoulders hunched. She'd never seen him look so small…so defeated.

Ashley's arm slipped through Dave's, and they too made their way slowly away from her so-called grave. Somehow each looked years older than was natural.

And then, finally, only Aaron remained. Gasping, she realized that his eyes stared into hers.

Swallowing, she lifted her hand in silent farewell before disappearing into the trees, praying one day their family would reunite again.

_Finis_


End file.
